Fierce-Ryder (Fierce Family Series Book 7) Read online

  Tommy was giggling, but she was rolling her eyes. She figured he’d purposely done that as he wanted to drop onto the lower bed last night and she’d told him no.

  “Let me get your clothes so you can take a shower.”

  “Aw, do I have to?” he asked. One battle they always had.

  “Yes,” she said.

  She moved into their room and got his clothes, then back to the bathroom and put a towel out for him.

  By the time Tommy was done and running back to the room, she’d had the beds made and their clothes packed back up.

  “We’re leaving already?” he asked, a pout on his face. Yeah, that hurt, but she’d have to get over it.

  “We have a long drive back, but we aren’t going yet. Before lunch though,” she said now that he was up so early.

  “Is Ryder up?”

  “He is,” she said. “We were having coffee in the kitchen.”

  Tommy turned and ran, then squealed, “Food. Are you making pancakes?”

  “I am. I heard they were your favorite. Sorry, I don’t have blueberries though I’ve got chocolate chips.”

  “Mom,” Tommy yelled and turned. “Oops, didn’t know you were there. Can I have chocolate chips in my pancakes? That would be like big cookies.”

  “If Ryder wants to make them I don’t see why not. Maybe I’ll have one too. Who could resist a chocolate chip pancake?”

  Ryder picked up the bag and poured them in and then got to work while Tommy went back to the room and came out with a sketch pad and some pencils. At least he wasn’t going to make a mess.

  By the time breakfast was cooked and on the island, the three of them sat down and started to eat.

  “How many do you want?” Ryder asked Tommy.

  “Can I have three?”

  “Why don’t you start with two,” Marissa said. “Those are pretty big. If you want another after you can have it, but no reason to waste food.”

  “Mom makes a lot of pancakes and then we warm them up for the next few days for breakfast,” Tommy said. “I like that a lot. It’s better than milk and cereal and she says it’s the same amount of time.”

  “I might have to try that if I have any left over,” Ryder said.

  The three of them ate, Tommy stopping at his two and two glasses of milk. She felt like she wanted to offer some money to Ryder for the food her kid ate this weekend but had a feeling it might cause a fight and figured it was best to keep her mouth shut.

  She sat back and let Tommy and Ryder play a few video games after she’d cleaned up the bathroom and packed up the rest of their belongings. It was almost eleven and they needed to hit the road.

  “Are you about ready, Tommy? We need to get back and I’ve got to check your schoolwork over.”

  “It’s all done,” Tommy said. “I told you that. I did it Friday night.”

  “I know, but I haven’t had time to check it.”

  “How are your grades?” Ryder asked.

  “Good. Mom said they could be better if I didn’t rush. I get a lot of A’s and B+’s but she said I could get A’s and A+’s if I slowed down.”

  “Smart kid.”

  “I bet you’re really smart and your brothers too. Sam is a doctor.”

  Ryder laughed. “Can I let you in on a secret? Sam is very smart, but Bryce is a certified genius. I kid you not, but we don’t talk about it too much because it embarrasses him. But he’s got his doctorate and is working on another in physics because he likes school.”

  “Cool,” Tommy said. She hadn’t known that about Bryce. Ryder had never said anything.

  “But you’ve got to be smart too, because they are your brothers and you look alike so your brains should be alike too.”

  Marissa laughed. “I remember Ryder had some pretty good grades in school.”

  He studied as much as her even though he played hard. She suspected now he was self-conscious of how smart his older brothers were and felt he needed to prove himself.

  “Your mother got better grades than I did,” Ryder said.

  “I think we both held our own,” she said. “But we do need to go. What do you say to Ryder?”

  “Thank you, Ryder, for letting me visit and for all the toys. I had a blast.”

  “You don’t need to thank me. You’ll be back again,” Ryder said.

  “I will?” Tommy asked.

  “We talked about this a little, Tommy. Ryder is your father and he’s going to want to spend time with you and get to know you more.”

  “Do I have to move here?” Tommy asked looking upset. “All by myself without you?”

  “No,” she said, pulling Tommy against her side. She looked at Ryder and saw his stricken face too. She felt bad, but then part of her was happy her son wasn’t going to ditch her for the life she couldn’t give him. “We said visit. That’s what it is going to be.” When Ryder went to open his mouth she narrowed his eyes and he got the hint and kept quiet.

  “Okay. I want to come back. When can I?”

  “Ryder and I have to figure it out.”

  “Can he come visit me? Then he can see my house and my room.”

  “I’d like that,” Ryder said. “Maybe soon, but your mom and I will talk about it.”

  “We will. Thank you again for everything.”

  “No,” he said quietly. “Thank you. Call when you get home so I know you’re there safely.”

  “I will.”

  They collected their things, loaded the car up, and then pulled away. She had to laugh at the bag on the seat next to her filled with two peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and some chips that Ryder put together. Damn him for remembering her favorite comfort food snack.

  9

  Welcome To Parenthood

  Ryder watched Marissa and Tommy pull away and then walked back into the house.

  He wasn’t sure what he was feeling right now. A mixture of a ton of emotions for a guy who held as much of himself back as he could for years.

  He was so hurt when he saw Tommy’s face over the thought of having to move here without his mother. He knew he was still a stranger in the kid’s eyes and had to tell himself not to take offense to it.

  Then asked when Marissa said Tommy could visit again, he wanted to argue it more but caught the narrowing of her eyes and he shut his mouth. He got the idea to not talk about it in front of Tommy, but they’d be talking about it tonight if he had his way.

  He was already thinking he’d go to Greenville and get a hotel this weekend if she would let him spend the time with Tommy.

  Once the house was put back in order, though he didn’t have too much because Marissa cleaned up, he drove to his parents’ house knowing the rest of the family would be there soon.

  He wasn’t in the door two seconds before his mother was on him like flies on melted ice cream in the sun. “How are you feeling?”

  “Okay. Confused. Different. Overwhelmed.”

  “That’s only to be expected,” his father said. “You’re a parent now and those feelings aren’t going to stop anytime soon. They will be with you the rest of your life.”

  He laughed. “Thanks for that, I think. I guess I can have a better appreciation for the headaches I put you through. I’m excited and eager to get to know him and scared to death at the same time.”

  “Welcome to parenthood,” his mother said, moving toward him and giving him a hug. “Sam and Bryce are already feeling it now and their kids aren’t even here yet.”

  “Yeah, but they get to be there for everything. Those first words, steps, smiles, dirty diapers. I didn’t get any of it.”

  “Why is that?” his father said.

  He wasn’t sure he wanted to share everything. “I don’t know. She and I haven’t talked about it all, but we have to. I think right now we are taking small steps and that’s fine.”

  “She’s nothing like anyone else you’ve brought home to us,” his mother said. Figures she’d latch right onto that.

  “No,” he said and then mov
ed into the kitchen to get a beer. It was noon and he needed it.

  “Is she going to give you a hard time with visitations?” his father asked.

  “I don’t think so. I want to try to go visit them next weekend. I know I can’t ask her to make the drive here every weekend.”

  “Why not?” his mother asked. “She’s had Tommy to herself for nine years and we deserve some time now.”

  He knew his mother would say that. “I know, but he was upset when he thought he had to move here without her.”

  “Why would that even come up?” his father asked. “I hope you didn’t bring it up. That’s a little rough to do in front of him.”

  “Give me some credit,” he told his father. Once again feeling like they didn’t have any faith in him to be mature and responsible in life. “He was thanking me and I said he’d be back. He got nervous and for some reason thought he had to move here without his mother.”

  “And it hurt you to hear that?” his mother asked.

  “Of course, but I understand. He doesn’t know me. Not yet, but he will.”

  An hour later his siblings and their spouses showed up and everyone had even more questions for him. “So Mom says you’re upset you missed out on dirty diapers,” Sam said. “You can come over and take care of them at our house anytime you want.”

  “Stop,” Dani said. “You’re changing your son’s diaper and don’t push it off on Ryder. If you can stick your hands in people’s bodies and not get squeamish, you can clean up some poop.”

  “You tell him, Dani,” Ryder said. Was he jealous of what his older brother had? Yeah, he was. He’d been jealous of his brothers for years and now they both were married with kids on the way.

  He might have had the first kid in the family, but he’d lost so much and had to wonder why.

  Sure, he had some harsh words for Marissa after he’d seen her kissing her ex, but was that enough to not tell him she was pregnant? To not tell him when the baby was born? Not until years later when their son was sick?

  He didn’t think the punishment fit the crime in his mind even if he did remember how prideful and independent she always was.

  He’d have to get to the bottom of it at some point.

  “So tell us everything you learned about Tommy,” Payton said. “Being an only child, it was so hard to get used to your family and it just seems to be growing.” Payton rubbed her belly. “There are going to be so many cousins soon.”

  Their cousin Ella was pregnant and due in less than two months, Cade’s wife, Alex, was pregnant with twins due the same time as Dani in July. Payton was due in the fall. Cade and Ella’s brothers all had kids. Mason had twins that were almost three, Aiden and Brody had sons that just turned a year old, and Brody had a daughter that was five.

  Here he was the youngest of the group with the oldest kid that he knew very little about and couldn’t even see whenever he wanted let alone take him places or do things with him.

  He’d have to get over it and move on because he couldn’t take those years back, but he could damn well make the future count.

  “Ryder was quiet,” Grant said to his wife. “Not like him at all.”

  “He’s had a lot to process this week. We all have.”

  “I know. I feel for him. He probably feels like he let us down,” he said, knowing his son and how hard he tried to prove himself to everyone. Ryder might have been the wild one, but he wasn’t always so far out there. Not until after college and now he was wondering if this woman played a part in it.

  “I’m sure he does feel that way. There is a part of me that is feeling let down, but I shouldn’t. I feel more like him in that we were robbed of years with Tommy.”

  “We were. Ryder won’t let that continue and you know it. Both of us want to jump in and take control, but we can’t. He’s a smart guy and he’ll do the right thing.”

  “I just wish we knew more of what is going on or what went on,” she said.

  “He’ll tell us in time. We have to accept that. For now we just have to focus on Tommy’s health and Ryder if something goes wrong.”

  Diane’s eyes started to fill. “I can’t even let my mind go there. If there are complications and Tommy needs a transplant, Ryder will do it. But he’s putting his own life at risk.”

  He moved closer to his wife and pulled her into his arms. “And you know damn well if Ryder hadn’t been a match and couldn’t do it, any one of us would in his place. I wonder how Marissa feels knowing that her family wasn’t a match and ours is.”

  “As a mother it’d kill me to know I couldn’t help my child, but if you could I’d be fine,” she said sniffling. “I have every faith in Sam, but he isn’t God and can’t always control the outcome.”

  “No, he can’t. I refuse to believe we are getting a grandson we didn’t know in our life only to have something go wrong. Think positive. That’s all we can do.”

  She snuggled into his side. “There is one more thing we can do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Find out what is between these two and push them together.”

  “Are you nuts?” he asked his wife. “You didn’t have anything to drink today unless you were tipping the bottle in a closet.”

  She slapped his arm. “I wasn’t. Come on, Grant. I saw him watching her yesterday and she was doing the same to him. He knows more than he is telling us. He’s protecting her and I don’t know why. I think she broke his heart.”

  “Hmmm. You might be right. Can you promise me you won’t do anything until after the operation?”

  “It will be hard, but I promise.”

  10

  Absorb Every Minute

  The following Saturday Ryder was pulling into Marissa’s driveway by ten.

  He’d gotten his butt up at the crack of dawn, showered, ate something quick, had a cup of coffee and then made another large one for the road.

  Now his bladder had a mind of its own and what he really needed was the bathroom.

  But he took in the sight of the brick ranch house his son lived in and noted that it was a nice area, older but established. The houses were on the smaller side but well maintained.

  He parked behind Marissa’s car in the single lane driveway. She had a garage, but it wasn’t big and he suspected it might barely fit her car and was full of other items.

  Once he was out of the car, he opened the trunk and grabbed his bag, then made his way to the little white porch that had two rocking chairs on it. One for an adult, one for a child and found himself smiling over that.

  “Ryder,” he heard when the door swung open. He’d love it if Tommy gave him a hug but settled for the high five they’d given each other just last Sunday when they’d left his house.

  “You made it okay, I see,” Marissa said. “Come in.”

  “It was an easy drive. Just long and boring. And can I use your bathroom? Too much coffee.”

  She smiled at him, but Tommy took his hand and pulled him along. “I’ll show you where it is.”

  Other than the high five, that was the first time he’d touched his son and thoughts of emptying his bladder vanished from his mind.

  The small hand in his was warm and...comfortable. It felt just about right.

  He barely noticed the house as he was pulled down a hall and to the bathroom, then went in and did his business. When he was washing his hands he looked around. It had a double vanity and he suspected it might be the only bathroom in the house.

  It was painted a cheerful yellow with some light blue accent towels and a yellow and blue shower curtain. He pushed the curtain aside and peeked in and saw a few toys lining the edge along with children’s bubble bath. He’d have to grab some of that too after he took note of the type of shampoo that Tommy used.

  When he came out Tommy was standing right there. “Want to see my room and all my toys?”

  “You bet I do,” he said being tugged next door to the blue room. It was a darker shade than what he’d painted the one at his house la
st week but still a nice boy’s room, even if it was almost half the size of the one at his house.

  There were toys neatly in bins on the other side of a single bed. No desk in here, just a dresser with more toys and a small TV on the wall.

  “Did you make this?” he asked of the Ferris wheel on the floor. He remembered getting kits like that when he was a kid too.

  “I did. Uncle Cody bought it for me for Christmas and I put it together the next day. It took me all day, but I didn’t want to stop until it was done. And when I turn it on, it moves.”

  He watched Tommy flip the switch and the big circle go around and around, the lights flashing. It was pretty advanced for an eight-year-old.

  “That’s great,” he said. “Next time you come we’ll have to finish one of the kits I got you.”

  “I’d like that,” Tommy said.

  He turned and saw Marissa standing in the doorway watching them. There was no smile on her face, more like nerves. He didn’t want that either.

  “Let me show you your room. Sorry it’s not as big as your place.”

  “It’ll be fine,” he said when he walked out and moved to a smaller room across the hall. It had a double bed in it that his body would barely fit into, but he wouldn’t trade it for the world. No way would he stay in a hotel when he could be right here to absorb every minute with Tommy that he could.

  “I put your bag on the floor. I’m sure you’ve got stuff for the bathroom. You can bring it in later if you want.”

  “Thanks. I’ll probably do it tonight. Thanks for offering to let me stay here.”

  He’d been slightly shocked she’d done that. He had no problem finding a hotel, but the minute she offered her place he jumped on it.

  “I’ll show you the rest of the house. Not that there is much to see. One bathroom; my bedroom is next to yours.” She turned to go back in the other direction and he wasn’t surprised she wasn’t showing him her room. He’d never shown her his and figured it’d be in poor taste to have offered it last weekend.

  They were back in the living room, which had an opening to a small dining room. There was a square table with six chairs at it and it took up most of the room. Off the dining room was the kitchen. It was neat and clean and as cheerful as the rest of the house but not modern or big.