Fierce-Ryder (Fierce Family Series Book 7) Read online

  17

  Went Overboard

  “You don’t look happy with me,” Ryder said later that night once everyone had left and Tommy was passed out in bed.

  Maybe he went overboard on the gifts. And maybe he should have told Marissa he was getting the phone for Tommy, but it’s not like she was paying for it.

  “I’m trying to understand.”

  “But you’re struggling with it.”

  “Obviously.”

  “My family missed a lot. They got him a ton but not as much as I would have expected.” There was an explosion of toys and clothes and sports items. Even some gift cards for Tommy to pick out his own stuff.

  “I figured that was going to happen. I can’t even fit it all in my car. Would you mind if we keep some here for when he visits?”

  Ryder wanted to grind his teeth over the word “visit” but didn’t. They wouldn’t get anywhere if he acted that way all the time. “Of course. Maybe even some of the clothes could stay here. Or the clothes you brought could stay and he could bring the new stuff home? I’ll just wash them.”

  “That makes sense.” He was glad she was trying to be accommodating. “About the phone…”

  “I know. I should have told you. But it’s the truth. I want him to call me whenever he wants. I want to be able to text him or call him too. I know kids text more than talk. I don’t always want to feel like I have to go through you to talk to him.”

  “He’s nine.”

  “He’s my son. Don’t you think we deserve to have that between us without you looking over our shoulders or watching our conversations? Do you think I’m going to try to persuade him to come here? To pick me over you? That’s just nuts.”

  “I can’t give him all this stuff.”

  “He seems like a pretty smart kid to me. Not someone that wants to leave the only parent he’s known for stuff. For possessions.”

  “He’s still a kid.”

  “A kid you’ve done a good job raising on your own. I hate it, but it’s the truth. I hate that I wasn’t a part of his life, but damn it, I want to be. Can’t you give me this much?”

  “I can. I will. But he isn’t going to be able to have the phone with him in school. He might break it too. They aren’t cheap.”

  “That is why I’ve got insurance on it. If it breaks we deal with it. It’s got a big case too and he’ll have to keep it covered. I did think of that much.”

  “You did,” she said. “You get points for that.”

  “Do I get points for anything else?” he asked, grinning.

  “For what?”

  “I put a lot of thought into this party.”

  “You did. It was a lot of fun. And we are both exhausted after cleaning it up even though everyone wanted to help.”

  “I told them no,” he said. “My mother always ends up doing all the work and I don’t let her.”

  “You’re close to her, aren’t you?” she asked.

  “I’m the baby,” he said. “I like to cook and we’ve shared that over the years. But I’ve been her wild one too, so as close as we are or as much as my brother’s bust on my ass for being her favorite, we’ve had some rocky patches too.” No reason to bring up everything.

  “What caused them?”

  Guess he wasn’t going to get out of this and wouldn’t lie. “Let’s say everyone is settling down and I’ve shown no sign of it.”

  “Payton told me that everyone believes I broke your heart.”

  Shit. “You did.”

  “I told her you weren’t alone.”

  That was progress. “Where do we go from here?” he asked.

  “Tommy has to be first. You know that.”

  “I’m not arguing that point. I told you that. But why can’t we talk about us?”

  “Because I’m not ready. I can’t focus on anything other than Tommy right now.”

  “So if I kiss you it’s going to muddy things up?” he asked. He needed to push a little.

  “Yes.”

  “But I can see you gulp and your eyes dilate. You want me to.”

  “It’s not wise,” she argued.

  “Sometimes we can’t always be wise in life,” he said. “But for now I’ll honor your feelings on this.”

  She laughed. “Gee, thanks.”

  “But I might not always because I damn well know we are thinking and feeling a lot of the same things, so the time is going to come when one of us decides to try to move on.”

  “Moving on can mean a lot of things,” she said.

  Not what he wanted to hear. “You’re right, it can. But we both know what I’m talking about even if you can’t admit it.”

  “What do you guys think?” Diane asked her sisters-in-law. They were all at her house now having a drink and talking about the party. “Definitely something going on between those two, isn’t there?”

  “I’m not sure,” Jolene said. “I see Ryder wants something. He was itching to put his arm around Marissa when he introduced her, but he didn’t.”

  “I saw that too,” Carolyn said. “There is more going on and they are fighting it. I believe it now. She is the reason Ryder is the way he is.”

  “I know,” Diane said. She knew her son well. They were always close. This woman broke Ryder’s heart and didn’t even know she did it. “But I think Marissa feels the same. They have so much to overcome right now.”

  “Tommy needs to get better, but once that happens, I think we need to start to make our move,” Jolene said. “I’m not sure what it is yet. All I know is I’m bummed. If this works out, all the kids are paired up and we didn’t have anything to do with this one. I can’t let that happen.”

  “No,” Diane said. “I need to put my stamp on this. We can’t let it go and do nothing.”

  “I’m done,” Carolyn said. “Jade figured it out. She’s not stupid. She’s just like Ella and I told you guys what she and Brock did. I swear to God, Garrett and I were going to have a heart attack when she said they weren’t getting married and just wanted to live together.”

  “That was a good one,” Jolene said. “Just like Ella. She tried to pull one over on us too, but we are always one step ahead of those kids.”

  “What are you three talking about in here?” Grant said, walking in with his brothers.

  “Ryder and Marissa and how we need to work on this. You can see it in his eyes, he wants them back together.”

  Grant sighed. “I can see it, but she’s a cool one. She’s pretty reserved. Not even sure how they got together.”

  “I like her,” Gavin said. “She is the opposite of Ryder. Isn’t that what you did with the other two, Diane?”

  “It was. And it worked out. Ryder needs someone to calm him down. I tried to get more information out of him on his relationship with Marissa years ago. All he said was he’d pursued her. She’d gotten out of a bad breakup and wanted no part of him.”

  “So he had to work for it,” Jolene said. “Interesting. Ryder never shies away from a challenge.”

  “Nope,” Garrett said. “My nephew may annoy us often, but when he is serious about something, anything or anyone that is in his way better be prepared.”

  “Then we need to keep an eye on things,” Diane said. “Grant and Garrett, I expect you guys to get to work during the day since you see him the most. Keep your eyes open.”

  “I think you need to call in some reinforcements,” Jolene said.

  “What?” Diane said. “You want us to tell the rest of the kids what we did and get them to help?”

  “I don’t know,” Carolyn said. “Even though Jade knows, my other three don’t.”

  “I think she’s right,” Garrett said. “Jade knows. Why hide it? It’s done and everyone is happy. Ryder is going to need help. It seems like Payton already tried and she had no idea we set them up.”

  “I saw Ella talking to her too,” Jolene said. “My daughter is a sneaky one.”

  “Jade has talked to Marissa too,” Carolyn said. “Maybe Jolen
e makes a good point, Diane. What do you think?”

  “Are we going to tell Ryder what we are doing?” Grant said.

  “Let’s think this through. We need to get through the surgery. If Ryder wants Marissa and tells us that, then I say bring him in on it. It can’t hurt, can it?”

  “No,” Diane said. “Because, damn it all, I want my grandson here where I can spend more time with him.”

  18

  Twenty Questions

  Two weeks later, Marissa was staring at the ceiling at three a.m. in the lower bunk at Ryder’s house while Tommy slept above her.

  They had to be at the hospital by six, surgery was scheduled for seven thirty.

  When school got out yesterday, the day before Good Friday, they climbed in her car and made the drive to Ryder’s. They’d be staying here for a full week too.

  Tommy would be in the hospital until Sunday, maybe Saturday afternoon if all was well. But he wouldn’t be up for the almost four-hour drive home, not to mention he had a follow up with Sam next Friday. Too much driving back and forth when they had this beautiful house to recover in.

  The problem was staying with Ryder for a full week and trying to fight back everything she was feeling.

  After Tommy’s birthday party with Ryder’s family around, she’d gotten the uncomfortable feeling that the family was talking about her and not in a bad way.

  They just accepted her way too freely and then even had some negative things to say about Ryder and his impulsive behavior. No, they weren’t letting her forget what she did either. She knew that would never happen, but the air in the room was just...different.

  Then there was Ryder himself. She needed a break from him before she did or said something stupid, so she made up an excuse that they had plans last weekend and Ryder didn’t visit, nor did she come here.

  Her excuse wasn’t really one. She’d told Tommy she’d take him and five of his friends to the movies for a small birthday party and she wanted him to have that before his surgery so that was the day they’d planned on it.

  There was no way she was going to get back to sleep. She was glad Tommy was sleeping at least and her plan was to get him up last minute and leave. He couldn’t eat or drink anything and hadn’t been able to since midnight. Best to let him sleep until they left.

  She threw the covers back and rummaged around to find her computer in the dark, then snuck out into the living room to get some work done. Might as well since she’d been so preoccupied this week.

  Once she had her legs out in front of her, her laptop on her lap, she got to work.

  “Can’t sleep?”

  She jumped, her laptop almost falling to the floor, but she’d caught it in time. “Jesus. I already feel like I’m losing a few years off my life as it is and that added to it.”

  “Sorry,” Ryder said, walking in and sitting down by her feet. He’d flipped the light on on the end table, her eyes blinking a few times. She wished he’d put on more than just a pair of athletic shorts and was going to have to focus on anything other than his chest. “I was just staring at the wall and then I heard clicking and got up.”

  “You must have good ears to hear me typing.”

  “The house is pretty quiet, but as I said, I can’t sleep.” He rubbed his hand on her bare foot. “You’ve got to be feeling it much worse than me.”

  “I’m sure,” she said. “But your family got good news with Ella having her daughter a few days ago.”

  He laughed. “Sure, we can talk about something else. I felt bad for her a few weeks ago. She looked pretty uncomfortable, but baby Madison is doing well. And she won’t be the only girl either, although the male genes are pretty strong.”

  “Alex is having a boy and girl, right?” she asked.

  “She is. But there are a lot of boys already. Sidney is adopted by Brody so she doesn’t count in terms of our genes, but Brody and Aiden both have one boy, Mason has twin boys. Cade is going to have one of each and I’m sure Alex is done after this. Cade wants to fill his house up and Alex said no way.”

  “One is good. Two at the same time would be hard, but I can’t imagine how your aunt had five at once.”

  “And my Aunt Carolyn had two sets of twins under the age of three. Don’t forget that either.”

  “I can’t. I guess I should be very thankful that I only had one. Though Dani and Payton are only having one each.”

  “And they are thankful for that too,” he said. “What are you working on?”

  “Just some financial planning and investment strategies for one of my clients. Thankfully nothing with a set deadline, but it still needs to get done and I need to focus on something else other than Tommy’s soft breathing above me.”

  “Maybe you should have slept in the guest room next door.”

  “About that,” she said. “I think I might need to move into it. I was watching him climb into the top bunk last night and realized that might not be smart after surgery.”

  “No,” he said. “You’ll be right next door if he needs anything. I didn’t want to say this, but my mother suggested I should get one of those child monitors and then I could hear on the other side of the house.”

  “We’ll be fine,” she said quickly. The last thing she wanted to worry about was Ryder listening to anything that was going on in the room she might be in.

  “I figured as much,” he said, laughing, then yawned.

  “Why don’t you get some sleep.” She looked down at her computer. “I was going to get up in about an hour anyway to start getting ready.”

  “I’ll stay up and keep you company.” He moved his hand forward and shut her computer down. “Let’s just talk. It doesn’t have to be about Tommy or fears or anything like that. We can play twenty questions.”

  “You and your questions,” she said. “You did that when we first started dating.”

  “I did. And it worked. I learned a lot about you.”

  “So why do we have to do it again?” she asked.

  “Because it’s been a lot of years since we’ve seen each other and things have changed.”

  “Not as much has changed as you realize,” she said and wished she hadn’t when she’d seen the soft look in his eyes again.

  Ryder would be lucky if he got three hours of sleep tonight. He’d never tossed and turned so much in his life.

  Even when he was upset over him and Marissa, he’d drink himself to sleep.

  But this time he had to be alert and awake because his son that he’d only known of for a little over a month was going in for major surgery in a few hours and his older brother was going to be doing the procedure with his cousin and cousin’s fiancée in the room.

  He had all the faith in the world in Sam, Wyatt, and Adriana, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t scared shitless and he wondered what they might be feeling being in the room working on a family member. On a kid.

  But talking with Marissa right now reminded him that she had a calm about her that settled him down. He was hoping to be able to do the same for her.

  “Then you go first,” he said. “Ask me a question.”

  She paused, like she wasn’t sure she wanted to play along and then had to think. “What’s your favorite recipe to make? I’ve heard all about your love for cooking.”

  “Hmm. I’m not sure I’ve got a favorite. I love to try different things. I guess for me, I like stuff that is more complicated. It’s like building it one layer of flavor at a time.”

  “Just like building in your job?” she asked.

  “Like that only different. You like to cook too. Tommy talks about it a lot. He’s been texting me what you have for dinner all the time.”

  “He does?” she said. “I didn’t know that. Why would he do that?”

  “Because I ask,” he said. “He likes food and I ask what he had. I guess it’s an icebreaker. What’s your favorite recipe?”

  Ryder still found it hard to talk with his son, but they were getting better. “Food is always a good thi
ng to talk about with Tommy. That’s part of the reason I want to wake him up last minute so he doesn’t give me a hard time about wanting to eat when he can’t.”

  “That is one of the hard parts,” he said. “So answer my question.”

  “I don’t make a lot of complicated things because I’ve got to please the pallet of a nine-year-old. You’re probably doing it to win over some chick.”

  His smile dropped. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about other women with the woman he wanted to pull across his lap and kiss senseless right now.

  “Like you’ve never cooked for a man?” he asked.

  She snorted. “Who has time? Are you asking me if I’ve dated in the past nine years?”

  “I’m sure you have,” he said. He wanted to know, but if he asked then she’d want to know about him and he wasn’t willing to spill that.

  “Not much,” she said, looking away. “Nothing serious.”

  “I want to say I’m glad, but I’ll ask why.”

  “Not many early twenty-somethings want to date a single mother. They are out having fun themselves. Then the older Tommy got the harder it was to be away. I’ve never brought anyone around him. I wouldn’t do that. It’s been hard enough without confusing the matter with men in and out. And trust me, as I said, not many.”

  He found himself smiling over that and when she narrowed her eyes at him, the smile dropped fast. “You’re a good mother, Marissa. I’m sorry you did it alone.”

  “But it was my choice or my fault. I know,” she said.

  “I won’t throw it in your face anymore. It is what it is and we can’t go back. We need to focus on the future.”

  “We do,” she said. She put her laptop on the coffee table and then said, “So do you still love horror movies?”

  “I do,” he said, “but I don’t watch them much. There is something about losing yourself in an unbelievable cheesy horror movie. You always enjoyed watching them with me.”